It was July in 2018 and mostly all was fine. There was a last minute swap in my biking partner (for reasons IYKYK) through Burgundy, before taking the train up to Paris. But unexpectedly there was to be rain. The solution - to buy a rainjacket, what else? This was the July 4 holiday only three years ago and on this trip we visited Domaine Bize, Philippe Pacalet despite likely never having those wines previously. We even tried to squeeze in one Domaine du Clos Frantin in Nuits-Saint-Georges, a complete detour, just for the sake of an added tasting. Alas, we could not make it as the trains were cancelled because of the transporation strike. We dined at the venerable Ma Cuisine, and the pastoral La Goutte D’or, which little did I know is accross the street from Le Sufflot. All of this done from two bikes over two days, while carrying our affairs in our backpack, as well as a magnum from Pacalet (from the 2011 vintage, unfortunately - I did not know better at the time).

For most of this ride, we were completely soaked, but when the sun did come out, it was an immense pleasure. I think it is the most delightful travel memory I had, next to biking in Kyoto.

I recount this story in admiration of our thirst for new experiences, for venturing into the unknown. To some degree, it was meticulously planned to squeeze every minute out of the July 4 holiday, a rare 5 day weekend in finance. Such planning made this daring adventure less impressive. Yet I think some of this energy is due to youth. It is not lost on me that this was but 3 years ago, yet the three years feel significant. Even by the numbers, 26 and 29 seems far apart. I look at some articles I wrote in 2018. One article was a mathematical solution to a drinking game I played in the Hamptons, with a group of people I barely knew. Another lamented the weakening smell of Aesop soap.

2018 was also the year that I quit my job, and I mostly remember it being a difficult last half. But looking back I might have even had a more balanced life then than now. In the past two years, I had been maniacally trying to re-invent myself in the start-up world, deviating from the path I had been on over 2011-2018. In most measurable ways, I am completely happy with the results. I am happy with the products, I have created, the customers we have helped, and the financials of the business. I am also happy about the lifestyle that has been afforded to me, as I am writing this during a month-long stay in Beaune.

One of the major benefits of working in finance is that typically, you are trying to do as little work as possible, and once that work was complete, you immediately turn to your other interests. At least the way that I am with with my own business, you are trying to do as much work as possible, and it is difficult to find extra work that will move the needle. A lot of running your own business is waiting, and observing. The mindset when you have spare time is different compared to working in finance. It’s unlikely that you spend that time working on odd puzzles or reading Matt Levine. Instead, you use it to think about what to do next to improve your business. It’s unavoidable.

And at the same time, as mental capacity declines with age, it becomes increasingly difficult to think non-linearly. As a result, I often go through each of my businesses and consider what needs to be done. And I loop through it again and again.

All of this has culminated in a blackout on my blog for 9 months.

There was once a time when the words just poured out. perhaps it is because you gain a realization that no one really wants to hear what you say. Many accomplished peoples’ lives, I don’t want to read either. As people become more tired, and life continues in monotony, there is less to write down.

I used to write about restaurants, cities, random observations of life, interesting math puzzles. It is exceedingly rare to be captivated by these things anymore.

Going down the path of entrepreneurship left little to write about. Even that word “entrepreneurship” is annoying in itself. Entrepreneurship requires a fairly monomanical desire to make your customers happy. Now I think about it, university was really the time when you thought about the craziest things. I had random theories about everything. I thought for the sake of thinking. Because at the time, you were not focused on creating value for anyone. I guess as you age, you start being forced to create value for others. You go from a net negative to a net positive for society. That’s fun in some ways, but also hard in others.